Guyliner

Well-rounded discussions concerning topics pertinent to today’s important issues and events? I’m sorry Sir, but you appear to have the wrong blog…

 

Guys wearing make-up. Yay or nay?

 

I had thought myself firmly a ‘nay’ supporter, pretty much agreeing with Bradwyn Jones’ views in this article, that “it looks really gay – and I’m a gay boy¹… they don’t know what they’re doing. The typical bloke just doesn’t have that subtlety”.

 

Egads! All the poor little emo boys need not tremble in their boots for too long however, as The Age’s Beauty writer Natasha Hughes then consults her expert panel to produce a ‘How to Apply Make Up’ guide for the mainstream² man. My favourite tip; “Brush up the brows with an old toothbrush, paying attention to what you’re doing”.
Pay attention to what you’re doing?!? BUT THAT’S ABSURD! Next you’ll have us watching the road while driving, or supervising young children in swimming pools. SWIMMING POOLS? CHILDREN? YOUNG?!? ABSURD I TELL YOU!!

 

Ahem. Gross overplay of sarcasm aside, the most disturbing thing about this article was that they had a completely legitimate opportunity to mention BBC’s Robin Hood TV series, and they didn’t.

 

I know that the term ‘guyliner’ has been kicking around for a few years now (Urban Dictionary has it first recorded November 2005), but when I think of guyliner, I’m actually referring to Guyliner³.

 

Exhibit A:

 

Mmmm…what? Oh yes. So when I think of Guyliner, I immediately think of Guy of Gisborne, and also Allan A Dale’s defection from the Outlaws to Team Leather, as demonstrated below.

 

No make-up = Good Allan

 

Guyliner = Evil Allan!

(Allan looking particularly Team Leather and still getting out-guylinered by Gisborne. Nice)

 

Therefore, Guyliner + Man = Evil. Sexy evil. Dammit! Now I’m going to have to change my ‘nay’ to a ‘yeah, but no, but yeah…”

 

¹ Bradwyn Jones, that is. Not me. Being a girl and all.

² Their chosen adjective, not mine, and an interesting choice at that. I probably would have gone with something distinctly more clichéd like ‘modern’ or ‘heterosexual’, so points to them for creativity.

³ As in Guy of Gisborne. Obviously.